Global Pipe Dream

What do you get when you take an internet avgeek "influencer" with several billion British Pounds to burn, a fever dream of bringing back the golden age of flying harkening back to the days of Pan Am and TWA, and a fetish for the lumbering beast known as the Airbus A380? You get Global Airlines, a sort of half-assed attempt at starting a brand new airline by someone who has all the real world airline experience of a 12 year fresh off his very first round playing Airline Tycoon on their iPhone.

Just so I dont come off as sounding like a jealous neer do well, let me just go on record and say that I have 25 years of airline experience myself, in vastly different fields such as operations, reservations, network planning, and airside safety, and a stint in upper management. Now, every avgeek surely dreams every now and then of running their own airline, it's just stock in trade as far as boyhood fantasies go, hell, one of the whitepapers I wrote in University was a complete restart of Western Airlines, using Salt Lake City as the hub and HQ, using a fleet of Airbus A320 family sized planes.

Global Airlines was started by Investment Banker James Asquith, who landed himself in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the youngest person to visit all 196 countries on Earth. He also started up airbnb/VRBO clone Holiday Swap. All the proper experience for someone who wants to start an airline up, right?

When the airline was first announced, it was touted as being "the return of the Golden Age of Flying", and a "totally new experience" with an initial planned layout of 5 (that's right, FIVE) cabins of service, using a fleet of nothing but Airbus A380s. Ambitious as hell, according to some. To me, considering how many of these new airline startup schemes I've been witness to, and privy to over the years, I was skeptical. My mind immediately went to the con artists behind SkyGreece and the debacle that turned out to be. I wasn't the only one either, as airline folk, avgeeks, internet "influencers", and random interested parties all said this has to be a very elaborate April Fools Joke, or somebody took off with their Daddy's money, etc, etc.

The initial announced 5 cabin layout was suppose to have First Class, Business Class, Premium Economy, Economy, and this other class named "Gaming" Class, specifically aimed for inflight gaming and gamers alike. Is there really that kind of demand on each flight? From what I could tell by the mock up photos, it's a Recaro gaming seat, adapted for airline use (the actual seat is in concept phase, nothing has been approved by any aviation authority for actual use inflight), and passengers booked here will pay a premium for the privilege of inflight gaming using Microsoft Xbox or Sony Playstation 5. How much the added premium to be in this class is, would probably depend on stage length and demand, if there is any.

The gestation period from initial announcement to first flight was 5 years, and not without a few sprinkles of controversy thrown in (whether these were deliberate or not, who knows). First, the business plan itself. Flying nothing but Airbus A380 on the world's busiest and biggest routes (yet their first revenue flight was from Glasgow to New York/JFK, a route that barely has enough daily demand for an A321 or 757, let alone the behemoth A380). Now, they do have a prospective route map out, with a base at London's Gatwick airport. Makes sense though, as slots at Heathrow are probably far more expensive than the airline's current net worth, while Gatwick has plenty of space now that most long carriers from North America and Asia have all moved over to the far larger, more convenient, and far more connected Heathrow.

Next up was the size of the fleet. First announcements on the fleet said they had 50 of the massive used A380's are on order, with another 25 optioned (where are they gunna find that many?) As time went on, the number dwindled further and further, and finally 4 of these big beasts were actually ordered with money plunked down to secure them with. So far, as of the time of the writing, 2 aircraft have been delivered, one that is airworthy, and one that is in the process of becoming so, or so was the case by the time of first flight a few weeks ago.

Along with the fleet announcement was the statement saying that they will be pursuing their own AOC (Airline Operating Certificate) versus having an already certified provider doing the actual flying and servicing both on the ground and in-flight. It's an incredibly expensive and time-consuming effort to acquire a real, valid AOC. But it also puts the validity of your plan in action, as governed by whatever country you will be operating from. The AOC serves as your license by the aviation regulating authorities that you are a legitimate and going concern, and the public shall have a modicum of faith in you to operate said flights without the public being in fear of losing their money and not getting anything in return.

Fast forward and the first aircraft is being delivered. You'd think management would put the thing in the shop so the refurbishing and refreshing work can begin. From all accounts by the "influencers" aboard, nothing much was refurbished, and the interior was still in the basic layout as China Southern when they had the plane, in all 3 classes. A few even reported that there was still dust and debris from when the plane was in storage. Sections of bulkheads, storage doors, and walls were shown to be coming apart, and the only real addition was the addition of a few cheap branding decals on the exterior of the bulkheads, galleys, and bar hatches. During one video I saw, entire seat headrests came off with just the slightest bit of pressure. The Golden Age of Flying, indeed...

So the day of the first flight comes around. No AOC, no nothing. The A380 has been moved to Glasgow, and the whole operation on the ground and in the air is controlled by HiFly Malta, a carrier that is certified to fly the A380 with revenue passengers. So you're flying Global Airlines, but operated by HiFly. HiFly. This operation is notorious for insanely bad staffing and services in-flight, and this flight was no exception.

At check-in the CEO was running around, prancing around like a loon, and giving all sorts of random and off-the-wall comments to the influencers that crowd around him like lemmings. Most were upgraded to upper deck seating (no doubt for weight and balance, considering the center of gravity of the A380). Random interviews between the gaggle of passengers were all "interesting" according to several folks. One 12-year-old on the plane was asked what they thought of Global, and even HE was questioning the longevity and plans of Global. Now THAT'S terrifying if a lowly pre-teen questions your own existence.

In-flight was yet another fiasco. For the rather short 6 hour flight to JFK, the airline was stating there was 2 meal services, yet the incompetent HiFly crew only managed to get the first service done, and just barely, with meals coming at the most random, and incredibly late times, drink refills happened only on demand from what it looked like in several youtube accounts, and the crew simply said they had no idea where anything was stored and thats what was holding everything up. They can't even take accountability for their own gaffes, as the crews are the ones who store everything once the catering guys push the carts in. Kinda like what happened on the 3 HiFly flights I've been on in my lifetime. Seems to be a habit with them. But I'm not placing the blame solely on HiFly, oh no, Global should've sat them down and set up even just a rudimentary training and familiarization with their A380's layout, at least for that first flight.

The Travel Genius Opinion

The only thing I can say about this is, thank God this was one of the few Inaugural Flights I never paid attention to. This flight, by all accounts, was the avgeek's Fyre Festival. At least they had a plane and got to JFK, as promised. This operation isn't anywhere near the scams Braniff III or SkyGreece were, but they also weren't that far off, either.

Global Airlines will not live up to the hype it was launched with. It is nothing more than an attention seeker's fever dream at 30,000 feet. Time to get back to paying attention to the real airline industry, and leave these childish ambitions in the dust. James Asquith really needs to lay off the bong, and thank God those "influencers" aboard managed to get to JFK, and in relatively one piece.